Will start with the awesome bit first.
I got a great lie in on Saturday and we decided to hang out at home - we made a plan a couple years ago that we would hang out at home one day on the weekend and do an activity the other day. So saturday we stayed home and jonathan has had an ear and sinus infection so was feeling heaps better but just a bit tired - he's never been one who needs much sleep but after struggling to sleep with his ear and sinus pain and he also sat up most of the night with Greta when she has croup for 1 night ..so he was feeling tired so off eh trotted to bed and and the kids and i decided to get out of the house for an hour so as not to disturb him. Of we went and found a gorgeous little sectret garden cafe - i'll have to take my camera next time we go its stunning.. its litereally built as a secret garden, has a water feature in teh middle and all the tables are outside and the kitchen is inside this old old stone building that seems like an old run down cottage in the secret garden, its beautiful with vines and ivy trailing all over and best of all they have set up a kids play area in one corner so they can play there with the adults enjoy the amazing food there. So got back from there an jonathan had just woken up. He pottered in the garden and the kids played outside with him, i lounged around and read an entire book in one day - bliss. topped off by a swim in the pool and a BBQ.
Ok so then onto Sunday. I had tickets to take Miles to the movies to see Dorothy and Santa - which id LOVED by the way, didnt want to leave when it ended, bless him. So we went for a stroll around the shopping centre afterwards and looked at soe toys in a couple toy shops then decided to come home for lunch.
In the afrternoon id been told bya friend about a Santa Show on at a shopping centre about 20 mins from home with songs and carols by the local boys grammar school Knox and games and craft tables and hook a ducks and rides and free presents - all for free. So i said we would head out to tha after lunch. Now Jonathan HATES doing kid type activities, his idea of fun is sittingng in ARIA or Wildfire on Darling harbour for lunch and blowing a couple hundred dollars on 1 meal! Which to be fair i also like to do but pre kids, now i like to do stuff that makes my kids happy and we can all join in - but do that kids of adult only stuff on a ngiht out once a month or so like a date nght which we used to have but cant now cos of buget issues :(
Anyway this resulted in me asking if he was going to come or not and he said i will but i really really HATE stuff liek that - so i thought whats the point i dont want him coming and spoiling the day by sulking cos he hates doing kids activities - this really winds me us as he sulks and spoils the day when we do anything he doesnt like - which is pretty much EVERYTHING! except sitting in ARIA or Wildfire for 3 hours spending hundreds on fine wine and foods which is pretty much what we used to do a lot before kids but of course cant now and we cant afford that now anyway so rather than thinking right ive got kids now i need to think what will be fun for ALL 4 of us to do he still puts himself first - now trying to explain this to him and have a discussion about it is near impossible as i get cross and tell him how annoying and self centered he is being by not joining in or behaving like a spoilt brat the times he does join in.. now Jonathan is a lover not a fighter so having a heated disscusion with him is near imposible as he wont rant and rave like i do - which i guess is good as i dont want the kids to hear us fighting, she instead he stands there in silence and instead when i finally shut up yelling at him he opens his mouth and utters one line that is usually so cutting and cruel i burst into tears and run off into the bedroom - thank God we dont fight much cos i hate crying and hardly ever do - anway this is what happened and of course he comes in and says "im so sorry you know i hate fighting and im a dirty fighter and say awful things that i dont mean but i just cant stand having an argumet so i say nasty things to shut you up" What he said was.. well i said" i wish you'd come up with ideas of how to spend the one weekend day we do an activity as it all falls on my shoulders as you hate doing any activity with the kids so it falls to me to think of something and then you hate what i come up with " then i said the line " why do i always have to be the one to think for you" to which jonathan replied " OMG if i had to let you think for me then God help me" Now anyone who knows jonathan knows the man is a genius, smarter than any human being i or anyone i know has ever know.. he was jsut born that way i guess.. had trouble at school as he was way above of his year so was put up a year and that was no good he was still top of the class so was put up another year and still no good, so they had to buy him in extra books for smart kids that they didnt have ... too easy for Mr genius! So off he went to another school for boffins! also put up a year there and you guessed it - up another year... anyway sailed through exams with no studying, sailed through Uni with no studying - well as i said the bloke is a genius. I've often wondered how he cna stand being with me, Mrs average intelligence and doesnt he get terribly bored - but after 12 yrs together he assures me that no i totally stimulate him mentally as im a "why bird" as he calls me - im always asking him questions and thinking about stuff i want to lean about so thats good... i guess. Whenever i want to know something, do i ask Google - nope i ask Jonathan, he knows EVERYTHING and i really mean EVERYTHING! in 12 yrs im yet to find something he doesnt know - although when he goes to answer one of my many questions he usually begins the lecture with "Ok i'll tell you but i don't know very much about this subject" then of course goes on to tell me more than someone who had studied the subject for years! I recently asked him about how the Auatralian governtmant works and parliment and how it differs from how the UK is run - so of course a couple of hours later he has told me so much about the runnings of the country (most of which ive forgotten) but i really don't think julia Gillard could have known more! And we've only lived in the country for 8yrs - where the hell did hea learn all about the inner workings of the government i have no clue - and he NEVER EVER watches TV, hates it, says it leaves him brain dead lol yeah right! so we are like the von trapp family and he plays piano or guitar for the kids who LOVE it.
Anyway back to the point - the reason being that the one line he said about relying on my brain really cut me to the core cos ive always thought id bore him and he's way outta my league and all that ... even though i see Miles very similar to his Daddy in that he will most likely go on to be a genius too, so i feel good Jonathan will have an equal. His neice is also the same way -she just did her GCSE's (Uk exams) and got in the top 5% results in the entire country... pretty good, she's in the same genius school. Anyway there is a down side to his genius brain, that he is VERY VERY VERY messy - he cant cope with day to day chores, his damn too smart brain gets tired of it and he goes into a world of his own and then he forgets what task he is dong and gets distracted and i try to get him back but his mind has wondered after attempting to do too mundane a tast and its soon forgotton so he can go off and do some boffin task as well.. which i try to excuse and tidy up after him, honestly its like he's in a trance, if i say load the dishwasher please - his brain can seem to compute simple things like that so his mind wonders and he ends up putting shoes in the dishwasher or something! So i uaually take over which is fine i enjoy keeping house but then there is all the extra stuff like picking up after the kids - Miles is obsesively tidy so thats all good but Jonathan and Great are ferral! realyl bad, like they will eat and leave the food aquashed into the floor - Greta is a baby so fair enough but Jonathan does it too - or eats an apple and shoves the core down the side of the lounge - gross! and cos he doesnt watch TV eh doesnt sit in one spot staring at the TV, nope he wanders around all the time like he has ants in his pants! So makes a mess everywhere he treads ARGGGHHHHHHH..
Anyway backtracking a bit to tell the story. I ended up taking the kdis to the Santa show and it was FANTASTIC! we were there about 4 hours. Got some great toys for free too. Saw a great magic show and finally came home to jonathan and after Miles spent forever telling Daddy how good it was Jonathan then said he wished he had come and seen his kids have a lovely time an regretted not going. No you dont say!!!So what had he done while we'd been out - vacuumed half the house - he wanted to do it all but his mind wandered half way through and he got distracted - hmmmm sounds familiar.
(while on on the subject of the Santa show a few pics from the show)
So i had this silly bursting into tears thing.. J came and said sorry blah blah blah.. than i told him to Pee off and leave me alone as i was sick of him refusing to do stuff with the kids as he gets bored and only wanting to do adult stuff they'd hate and we cant at the moment affored till i go back to work 3 days a week (im working on that) or he gets a pay rise - hopefully next yr - so he leaves the room and 10 mins later i hear Miles' teddy bear jingle (it has bell in tis belly) and Miles' little had pops around te bedroom door, more tears - what a little sweetie - he then spends the next hour on the bed with me reading a stack of books he'd brought with him - love my sweet gentle son :)
Then i put him to bed and red him another story and went to chat with Jonathan. We had a great chat and i had to remain calm cos as ive said jonathan is a lover and not a fighter and will not argue, and would leave the room if i got cross and shouted (same as Miles, hes a very gentle soul like his daddy) so J said he hates doing activites with the kids and i said i hate washing your stubble out the sink every morning but i do it cos ive learnt to comprimise. SO if we have one at home day a weekend to potter around the garden which is what J likes to do why cant he other day be all 4 of us going to do an actuvity that im afraid for the time being does have to be based around thd kids mainly becuse they are kids and cant do adult stuff and its not fair to them bore them with adult stuff every single weekend - so why can that be the comprimise and he saw it was fair and agreed. Now how long this will last till he starts refusing to go or is so miserable while w are out on an activity that he ends up staying home alone i dont know.. but for a few weeks he should behave himself i hope!
So we agreed to go the the 'balmy ngiths' at the Rocks, which is a night market and live music and then have a meal in one of the restaurants - ive said i will put the kids down for a late nap so they stay awake till 8.30pm or so when we get them home - i could see him stressed at the thought of having to eat out with the kids - which is crazy as i eat out at lunch time with them ALL the time but Jonmathan HATES to eat out with them.. mad, they are the best behaved kids i know - which he agrees with but still he gets stessed doing things with the kids for some odd reason! They're kids its expected they will act like kids not adults as they aren't but still he stresses !! (rolling eyes here :p )
So thats one thing ive been SO KEEN to do and thought id have to do it alone but hes agreed - now whether he sits and looks miserable and ruins it for us im not sure but he has promised to try!
I want to take Miles on a train into the city to see the Christmas lights - again Jonathan would HATE to sit on a train for 15 mins into the city then walk around the city with 2 kids (Miles LOVES the city - he makes up games at home about being in the city and sky scrapers out of lego - he really loves Sydney) but jonathan thinks the kids shouldnt be allowed into Sydney! hmmm whaterver! but he has agreed to try that one out too!
Other ideas include the zoo - which he will hate not because kids dont belong there as he thinks but becaue the place will be filled with kids and he sees it as a kid only place and HATES kid type activities - so as you see its a struggle, he see's 505 of things as kids activities which he HATES and he sees 50% of activites as adult style activities which he HATES taking the kdis to - so loose/loose really!
What he is GREAT at is swimming the pool with the kids, pottering around the garden with them. just stuff at home really - but my 'office' is the home as im here all week with the kids, when J is home of a weekend i want to go and do an activity with him one day on the weekend.
Anyway a great weekend with the kids and worked out a few problems with jonathan so pretty good reall :)
x
No comments:
Post a Comment