... im pretty sure the heat made it worse.
Took Miles to see a Dr about his extreme seperation issues and his inability to cope in a group situation and the good news is that it seems its more me that has the issue that him! Because i realyl struggled with this as a child and adult, and shyness too. Miles has inherited a little of my inability to speak much in groups and extreme clingyness (if thats even a word) but not my shyness, he isnt shy at all.
Anyway the verdict was that he will probably never be the loudest kin in a group but he will adapt and be fine and its mainly me that panders to him and babies him as i had such a hard time of it when i was young and still do now that im trying to desperately do anything i can to make sure he doesnt struggle with it as i do but the reality is that he is nowhere near as bad as me, so the best thing to do is just to stop stressing as im pushing my stress onto him. Yeah, as i said he will never be the loudest in a group, and he is a clingy child, but he isnt me and im stressing so much and trying to stop him struggling as i did/do and am ending up making him worse when he isnt even that bad to start with !
So that was good - ill just try and leave him to make friends himself and not stress about it - also she thought that he played me like a fiddle as i stress so much he will feel lonely or anxious - again, my feelings not his! So he knows if he whines to me or if he says he wants to sit on my knee or whatever then it promotes some reaction on me and i just pander to him - cos of my feelings from when i was a child, and even now to some extent - hmmm guess we are all broken in some way! Anyway he is fine, its mainly me thats desperately trying to compensate for the way i am by making sure he isnt like me, but then he isnt like me i just dont see it ..
Other than that, miles pooped on the floor in JB-Hifi! he then poured nail polish remover all over our rather expensive lounge in the parents snug..... not even meant to be in that room - im sure i would have handled it better but cos i was so so hot and im really struggling with this heat at the moment, i lost my temper and snapped at him. Hate myself for shoulting at him, he is such a sensitive little fellow - God this Motherhood things is so hard sometimes.. im just realyl really struggling with the heat with 2 very clingy kids, i just want to sit down and not be touched and of course they each want me to carry them around and play with them and get them snaks and drinks and thats all perfectly normal but i do have particualrly clingy intense kids who need lots and lots of attention, which is good to know is perfectly normal just hard bloody work - and normalyl im used to it but with this heat ive struggled so much today.
Miles has had 2 time outs on his bed.. then he asked to go to bed at 5.50pm. So i took him but Greta wasnt ready yet so tried to do the story with her crawling around on the floor, she kept screaming cos she wanted to be held (as she has ALL day - well EVERY day really lol) and of course Miles wants one on one time as its his bedtime story so had to sort of shout over her to read.. then she started switching his lamp on and off so i said Greta NO and of course she isnt used to being todl off so she sobbed - oh the joys!
Anyway a tough day, that would have been ok but made so much worse by this awful heat - i just cant cope with it at present.
Quite happy its work tomorrow!
List
Monday - home
Tuesday - work, nanny for the kids
wednesday - Australia Day - off to Wisemans ferry i think
Thursday - work - day care
friday - work, nanny.
Oh on agood note Jonathan bought me a new iPhone 4 and it arrived today :) i never really get any Christmas or birthday pressies from anyone so it was nice to get a gift from him :)
ok over and out for tonight, im so over it today - today has offically SUCKED!
x
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