Exciting news!!!

that i mentioned before - but i still can't spill the beans, for a few more days... early next week.. just because i have a habit of jinxing myself whenever i write it down, so im not until its all clear sort of thing :)

In other news.  Greta only napped for about an hour and 10 mins today, no where near enough for her and is rather grouchy.  usuall has around 3 hours a day.

She had been going over to 1 nap now for a few weeks, flip flopping between 2 naps some days and 1 nap the next.  well finally we have finalyl settled on the 1 nap.  She goes to bed at 11.30am, and wakes around 2.30 pm..

Miles is at Pre-school today.  He so loves it.  I dropped him off and one little boy was so excited to see him and he went off and did some painting with another little girl :)

He seemed to have a few friends at Day care when he went there when i worked, they'd all line up against the fence and shout 'yay miles is here'  but he hated it there..

He's really taken to pre-school though, he is up and dressed at crazy-o'clock and dragging me out the house to take him :)  probably cos its a small group and much shorter hours... Thinking of sending him 2 days a week next yr when he turns 4.

Greta ate all the mushrooms i had for lunch, they seem to have taken over as her new food obsession, replacing tomatoes lol

I think she really misses Miles while he is at Pre-shcool.. she looks so lost without him sometimes, and wonders around shouting Miles Miles.  She is totally fine on her own, she is able to play and entertain herself a million times better that Miles can ever now at almost 4 but every so often she will shout Miles then seem to remember he isnt there..

The partners in crime!

She is currently pushing the car around the back yard chasing the cat! keeps getting it stuck and yelling 'guck mummy, guck' :)

ok not much else to report.. was going to book Mary Poppins for a couple of weeks time but not sure if we can afford it.. will see how we go next week with cash - living on a budget at present, which is driving us mad!

x

Just call me Mary Poppins ;p

Well i stated to clean up the play room while Greta was having her nap and Miles was flicking through his books from the library..

So i rearranged the toys and cleaned and vac'd and then Miles was still entertained and Greta was still snoozing (yes she still sleeps a LOT).

So i moved into the family room and cleaned the couch and rearrange the shelves and toy boxes and scrubbed and cleaned and then on into the kitchen -by this stage Greta was up so i gave the kids some food and started on the kitchen.  Cleaned and scrubbed the bench tops and sink and vac'd the floor, then i started scrubbing the cupboard doors and opened the doors and pulled out everything inside and cleaned inside and tidied the contents - im a bit of a neat freak and lite everything in containers and labeled too... i hate flour packets and things like that, so all flour and sugar and well everything really is all in neat jars and snap lock boxes in my pantry and cupboards.

Then i had a quick tidy of the dining room and came into our snug and moved all the toys that had somehow made it into there!

By this stage Greta was off trashing the Playroom again! Miles was still flicking through his books..

SO tomorrow when Miles is Pre-school i just have the loungeroom, 4 bedrooms and bathrooms to do...

Anyway while i was doing all of this, well let me explain the layout first.  the family is at the back off the house, off the kitchen and its all big glass doors, so in summer we slide open the doors and its like the family room is almost part of outside - if that makes sense.  We will at some point put bi-fold doors in to replace the doors we currently have so it looks even more like the family room is part of the outside space.. anyway so i had slid back all the glass doors as it was quite a warm day anyway, and i was hot from all the cleaning - so Greta had wondered out and was sitting at the little table and chairs outside.

So i'm sat on the floor of the playroom and i'm picking up all the little peices of the dolls house and putting them away and then i hear this little tap tap tap on the window - so i glanced up, and am greeting with this:

She is such a goofy dork, lol, i just adore her.. i almost pee'd my pants looking at her.. then she turned around and went back to the playdough at the little table that she had been playing with!
As incredibly intense and clingy and serious as Miles is.. Greta is so goofy and fun and carefree.. takes a LOT to get to Greta, im yet to actually tell her off and have her seem to care less! Where as Miles, honestly, if i look at him he will cry he such an incredibly sensitive little boy...but so so loving and gentle and i so envy his kind gentle soul - but so so adore Greta's wicked sense of humour.

So in other news...

Jonathan has agreed to 2 nights a week coming home at around 6pm - he usually gets home around 9pm, so that'll be great.

i think it veyr important that i eat with the kids, so i eat with them 5 nights a week, and leave Jonathans meal on a plate so he can just heat in through at he eats it at 9pm when he gets home.. however today and yesterday i was a bit slack and i cooked the kids leftovers from the freezer - in case we have a take out indian once a fortnight or so, i make sure a have a couple of meals cooked and in tupperware containers in the freezer for the kids.  So we had a roast chicken on Monday and vegies so i had thrown the leftovers with a hand full of rice and a chopped tomato in a pan and cooked that - to make a yummy tomoato dish withe veggies and chicken - so kids ate that yesterday ( and LOVED it, empty plates!) then i also had some left over lasagna that i had frozen... so they had the last 2 nights.. which is fine, i mean its food that i have cooked for them, i just don't like it when the 3 of us dont sit at the table and eat together  - i just think its important for us to do that.. so will make an effort to do that agan tomorrow night.

And of course when jonathan comes home earlier 2 nights a week, we can all eat as a family 4 nights a week then (inc the weekend?)

Anyway ended up getting chops out for us and was going to cook a stew for all of us, but with the cleaning i left if far too late so i got the meal out the freezer for the kids and i just ended up doing Jonathan and me chops and vegggies - which i did with a yummy mushroom sauce, so ended up being even more yummy than the stew i was going to make - oh and i have some leftover choccy cake in the fridge :)

Oooh its 8.55pm and i just heard the rumbling of a motorbikd coming along our drive - hubby is home :)

Planning things to look forward to ..

So just back from story time at the library.

Greta was toddling around, she if FINALLY getting the hang of the walking thing! At the grand old age for 19.5 months!  Can still only minage maye 2 or 3 steps on her own, but is up on her feet all the time trying - so hopefully won't be to long till she has a grasp of it.

So was talking to the hubby yesterday about phase 2 of our reno plans.

So far we have ripped out 2 bathrooms, including ripping out the walls and re designing the shape or the rooms and fitted new bathroom equipment...then we made another bathroom where the laundry was.  then we refitted out another area for the laundry room..

Then in the lounge room we ripped out the bar area and turned it into a giant book case area..

So stage 2 is in 2 parts:

1. turning a portion of the garage into a guest room - for when the family visit from the UK, we already out a shower room and toilet in there when we did phase 1 of the renovations. (this we will do in Aug this year)

2. Take down the wall seperating the kitchen and dining room and move back the kitchen area to where the dining room is, then put up a new wall- so in effect we end up with a huge kitchen/diner & family room area.. instead of at present we have a kitchen and family room off it and then in a seperate room is the dining room, so i want to make the dining area a part of the kitchen/family area and make it all a much bigger open plan space.
(hmmm, will come back later and add some pics of the house so it makes sense - will add some before and after pics also of what we did with the bathroom and other areas too)

So that will cost about $10,000 so can't afford to do that for another 18 months - 2yrs.

So its a work in progress :)

Other than that.  still dong ok... missing people still, btu happy we have have sorted out their visits ove the next 12 months and also my visit back there next year :)

As awful as it sounds, its good to hear there are people feeling the same as me! i know that sounds like im glad others are feeling lonely too - and im not, its just nice that its just not me feeling this way and others have the same problems...I mentioned how i was feeling on FB on a little private group a few of us have on there, and, well, some lovely people out there :o)

Plus i can't stay in a down in the dumps mood with my 2 little munchkins - the day i was having the bad day, i went and sat on my bed with Greta, and she climbed onto my chest and just hugged me and then started to say Awwww mummy, it was so darn cute... then she got up and started to try and bounce on the bed as her brother does - and her giggles are infections.  Then Miles came in and tried to show her how to do a rolly polly - they were just giggling and laughing and its hard not to end up in a good mood with the pair of them so happy :)

Funny thing is, when hubby married me, he said the thing that attracted him was the fact im so level headed and he has had a few GF who have been like a rollercoaster of emotions and i was always so straight talking and not ruled by my emotions and just very stable i guess - well we all have a few down days, but i needed to pull myself together i guess and have somewhat.. I guess i have 2 options.  Move or Stay - and deal with whatever comes along with those 2 options.. for me, for now.  Staying is the option - so need to go about trying to feel less lonely.. be brave and try and make more friends i guess.......... always been terrible at that.  Thats why i think i wanted to go back home, as i have ready made family and friends there i have known forever and its easy, i don't have to 'try' as i do here.. but try i shall!
Anyway, little miss is asleep and really need to clean the play room - totally trashed!

x

feeling better today

Had a good chat with Jonathan.  He had a good think about what i was saying and feeling and we have come up wth a few plans.

the inlaws are coming over for a  visit in jan for quite a few weeks... then i will fly back to the UK with the kids in july for a month or so and jonathan will stay here.

i don't know why we didnt think of that before - a work mate of Jonathans, his wife just flew back to Europe with their 2 kids for 3 weeks while the hubby stays back and works... makes so much sense for me to do that as i dont work and they kids are home with me all the time so we can just go wherever we choose. 

He suggested we go this year but Greta would be a little hard on a long haul flight, so next year just before she turns 3... then i will go back every year or 2 with the kids.. seems to make so much more sense - why didnt we do it before - i dont know.  i can stay with my parents so it wont cost half as much as when all of us go back as we have to stay in hotels then.. and i can borrow my dads car - and of course Jonathan wont loose money by not working.

So 14 months to go :0)

but before that the in laws are coming to visit in jan for 2 or 3 months... so that will be great.

im glad i got it all off my chest - i realyl dont want to leave here, i just miss people - but getting the families over here and sorted out dates for that (my paretns will come out the following Jan they said ) and working out that i can go back too, on my own with the kids, i feel better knowing that :)

Ok off to unpack the grocery shop :)

x

guilt..

Been thinking about going back to the UK.  Been in the Australia for almost 10 yrs now.  I can't put my finger on why..

 I miss my family, i miss my old friends (i stink at making new friends and don't have many here in this country)

I feel incredible guilt for living so far away from my parents and in-laws so they can't spend time with thier grandchildren.

I feel incredible guilt that my children can't spend time with their grandparents/cousins/aunts uncles..

I love my house, i love the area we live in, i love the lifestyle we have here and know we canot have the same over there - so i am torn.

Whats better???

....to have a start again, with no jobs no home, in a small cold country the was hit hard by the global finance crisis - yet have all our family and friends eager to help out and be surrounded by them and their familiarity..

Or

....to have a big house and a pool in the back yard but not a sinlge person to share it with....

 ...to be lonely and miss everyone and feel so guilty and constantly field Miles' and soon to be Greta's questions about why can't they have a sleep over (cos we have no one they can sleep over with) why cant they have a birthday party (cos we have no one to invite) why can't we go see uncle paul or whoever (cos we have chosen to live at the other side of the globe so its near impossible to go see them)

So, I'm torn... whats the best? Lifestyle but unhappy V's not so great lifestlye but content and not lonley ?????

Jonathan doesn't know how to process this bombshell i dropped on him... im usually the happy one, i hate people who whinge and generally loose my temper with them pretty quickly - yet i find that i cant drag myself out of my own misery...

He works approx 8am - 9pm 5 days a week.. im home all the time by myself, except 30 mins on a minday for music class, 2 hours on a tuesday for playgroup and 2 hours on a wednesday for playgroup - the rest of the time its me and the kids alone... im lonely..

 i struggle to make new friends,

 i want old friends and family that i feel comfy with..

 i want my kids to do a painting and be so excited to have someone to show it to other than me - as i am the only one here all the time..

 i want to not have to do the dinner/bath and bed routine 5 nights a week..

i want Miles to ask to go see his grandma/uncle/aunt as he does countless times a day and for me to be able to say yes ok no problem i'll drive you over to their house - rather than spending an hour every day explaining that they live a 24 hour flight away. 

At some point he is going to ask why they live so far away, why did we take them away from everyone who loves them....I have no words for that - just guilt.

I will be back when im in a better mood - i dont recognise myelf like this - i hate myself like this....

Mothers Day

Was lovely :)

Miles had made me a gift at Pre shcool - so was super excited for me to open that.  i did and asked him what it was, looked like some fuzzy felt art, and he couldn't remember what it was lol... so i stuck it up on the fridge..

We had made a card together at the library story time, he was very proud that he had cut out all the peices himself and glued them on - even though i made it with him, he was very pleased when i put that up on the table.. we had also made 2 other cards, one at Playgroup and one at another playgrou we have recently started going to.. and he made a card at Pre-shcool so i got that too.  So a total of 4 cards!! even though i did 3 of them myself, but still i don't mind, it was very sweet.

From my little girl, well she isn't too into craft just yet, but i got a card from her at a Playgroup craft session and gave her some crayons, she scribbled on it for a second but then got a little bored and went off to play lol, but i still have a lovely little card with a little scribble on from Greta - i know she is too young to understand it yet, but its still a litte something from Greta :)

Then Miles rememberd what the fuzzy felt creation was! a photo frame, so we went through the photo album and chose a lovely pic of the 2 of us for the frame :)

So thne we made our way to the local RSL for a mothers day lunch, there is a big play area for the kids and a grassy area for them to run around on... so we had a feast for next to nothing! so so cheap and yummy! they had free champers for the mums and a free flower (which i actually didnt get but never mind) and a band on and a clown for the kids doing magic shows and baloons - pretty good place, i love going there.

Here is a piccie of my card from Miles :)

Oh and while im at it, a photo of a plant pot that Miles painted, we planted a seed and its just sprouted !!

In other news - should get my car back soon i hope! ive been driving round an old bomb! its actually quite reliable buit its looks bad! i pull up at playgroup with all the other Mercedes and Jeeps and Range rovers and just want to hide lol but ive known them for over a year now and they are such a lovely lovely bunch of ladies so im sure they havent even noticed..

So i joined another Playgroup which i think i said already... its a 20 min drive away but the kids love it and their friends go there so made sense to join  that one and was at a loose end on a tuseaday anyway after story time, so we head over there then back home for Greta's nap so its pretty good.. and a pretty full week now to keep the kids busy!

miles was actually saying the other day that weo do so much, which is good... gets us out and about and although i have no family or anyone to look after the kids for even 5 mins, just going to playgroup or a storytime and having them entertained for a couple of hours while they are so engrossed in their play is like having a little rest for me... and great for them too - Greta gets to try all sorts of craft she wouldnt at home - and big open spaces to run around in and little cars to ride - and of course all the other kids they get to mingle with.. so just lovely for them.

Ok so what else......Im gonna book to see Mary Poppins, im thinking Jonathan is NOt gonna be impressed, but i have no one else to go with and just LOVE going to see plays so he has to come with me as i can't go alone :(

Oh i do have othe news but i just can't say anything about that yet, as everytime i seem to write it down on the WWW i jinx myself! so i'm keeping quiet about it untill al is ok or .....not i guess!
so watch this space i guess.....
Thats all, no other news - might do up  anew list actually:

Monday - was music class.. Miles is getting SO GOOD at this, the teacher writes out some musical notes on the white board and they are handed a drum and have to drum out the tunes and Miles can do it so well - he can say all the names of the notes and shouts them out when the teacher asks :0) so proud!

Tuesday - new playgroup

Wednesday - playgroup/food shop

Thursday - story time am /  baby bounce pm

Friday - pre-shcool / house clean

x

yep, jinxed myself ....

Greta has been a little madam today!

Must have taken me an hour to go for  a pee and get dressed this morning!  She asked to be cuddled then as soon as i did she screamed to be put on the floor again then instantly wanted to be cuddle again - and Miles all the while shouting mummyyyyyyy at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason!

so off we head to story time at the library and a $10 fine for a Cd that i just cannot find anywhere and even went and drove to the Jeep this morning in old Rusty to search in there but couldnt find it!

Then she squealed through story time, wanted to be on my knee, then on the floor as soon as i picked her up, then a bracelt we made a at a craft activity, she wanted on, then off straight away - then started squealing and snatcing books offother kids - erm its a library Greta! kids come here to loan books... you can't attempt to keep ALL the books in the library at all times, and scream the place down when someone takes one - and all this while Miles insisted on sitting on my knee so i was wrestling Greta, sitting her on my knee, stopping her beating up the other kids with Miles on my knee - ARGHHHHHH

So home to bed for her.

Need to clean the house, was going to do it over today and tomorrow but im over it today!  Miles wants to go to baby bounce this afternoon at the libary again blurghhhhhhhhhhh.. sounds great!

Awww Miles is singing Post man Pat at the top of his lungs.. so cute - and just like that, the day is good again :)

x

Lovely week

...so far, lets home this isn't going to jinx me!

Miles has been so funny this week, he has been keeping me entertained - that seems to distract me slightly from his intensity!

On Tuesday we popped to the Library for story time and bumbed into a friend so went round for a play, that was a lovely suprise..

Today was Playgroup which i always love and also food shopping day which is a pain in the tushy but the fact we have playgroup that day makes it slightly better!

Greta was very clingy last week, think she was going through a growth spurt as she was very clingy which she isnt usuall - and with a very clingy Miles having Greta clingy too was near impossible!  For eg today at Paygroup, we have a room indoors that leads outside to a little play area, well when i am indoors - can see outdoors as its a big glass door that slides open so its kinda like an indoor outdoor situation.. anyway, when im indoors but can see all of the outdoor area, Miles comes inside, if i pop into the kitchen to make a cuppa, Miles follows me in, if im rosterd on to do the dishes that week, Miles comes into the kitchen and sits ont he bench with me.. he just cant bare to be seperated - where as with Greta, i can be the kitchen and she cant even see me but is happy outside playing - Hell i can be in China and she is still happy to play wherever!  So last week she morphed into Miles! and with him ultra clingy it was hard having Greta attached to me as well.. so anyway this week she is back to her usual social butterfly self, off playing and interacting with the other babies.. Miles was attached to my side - but thats cool cos thats what im used to and its fine but when they are both like it OMG!

Anyway i think she is had a growth spurt, her sleeping went hay wire too - she is moving from 2 sleep a day to 1 i think so was a littlt up and down.. ive been mainly putting her down for 1 nap a day this week but some days, come 9am and she looks sleepy so still having 2 naps 3 times a week or so.. just taking a while to transition, Miles just suddenly stopped haivng 2 naps around 20 months or so but Greta is taking her time and still having 2 some days and 1 the next.. just take it as it comes.

Then tomorrow we are off to the library for story time and then in the afternoon baby bounce at the library.

Got a couple of things planned for Tuesdays.  A mums group friend invited me to join her playgroup - about  a20 min drive away.. also another mum from my current playgroup invited me to a group at the local church that is mainly singing and dancing, so not sure which to join.  They are both $20 a term so that doesnt help me decide.. kids love both equally.. hmmmmm we will see...

So the car will be fixed next thursday i hope, Rego'd jonathans bike today so he is up and running again..

Just get ot get the Jeep fixed now and give the loan car we have back to Jonathan boss!

Ok thats all for now... off to watch trashy TV till jonathan comes home  - kids are in bed - bliss :)

This weeks list

just a quick one today of this weeks to do list.

Greta is down for her nap but i hear her yelling "Mummy, door, mummy cuddle" so i think she has other ideas abotu napping1

So anyway:

monday - music class, was good, miles remembered all the names of the notes and how to play them on a drum and sang do re me.
Tuesay - M&M, which is a music and singling/playgroup i joined up at the local church - kids love it and is only $25 a term so fantastic value and thats mornign tea included for the kids and mums - winner!
Wednesday - Playgroup/food shop
thursday - story time at the library
Friday - Miles Pre shcool.

I got the kitchen scrubbed over the weekend so woke up to a lovely chlean kitchen and family room this morning :)
Winner!

I missed out on the Huggies bar code promo, i never got my bar codes sent off on time, but at least i have them ready for the next promo.

i went onto e-bay thining there would be a couple for sale on there but would you believe people were selling them for $60 plus $16.95 postage! rip off! so i got her an ELC cherry lane cottage instead of $20 with the little Rose caravan and horses with it too.
Got Miles a Bukaroo - so will play that with him tonight after Greta is in bed.

Went to Kenthurst Country fair yesterday.  That was great.  bought a few cakes and Miles got a little dog carrier thingy and toy dog too.. Greta went on the cup and saucer ride with Daddy, twice! She loves fast rides..Miles didn't want to go on.

Thats abotu all - got about 5 loads of washing to do and a little ironing to do.

Ooooh Liam Neeson is on Sesame street :0)

I still hear litte Missy sqeualing - best go get her, cheeky monkey isnt sleeping!

She was so cute at music class, she is such a major chatter box, i dont recall Miles saying half of what Greta says, and he was  agood talker.. she was asking the teacher to blow bubbles and pointing at pictures on the wall and naming them - then we stood to go and she said bye bye and waved OMG so cute!

Ok best go get her up, certianly no sleeping going on in there today!  i wonder if she is perhaps going to 1 sleep a day, she is 19 months old so perhaps she is transitioning over..

Lasagna for dinner, yummmm :)

x